EGO

i know it's not pretty but my ego wants to wild out so here it goes :P im so smart, im unworthy, im special, you're an idiot, theyre so mean, youre not doing it right, i know better, you know better, im not at their level yet, their not at my level yet, they dont understand, you think you know it all dont you, i know a lot, whyd you eat that, thats not good for you, why'd you say that, you look stupid, im so immature, im so naive, im so weak :( , im pretty strong, im lazy, i follow my heart, how many more examples can i provide. im not done yet, i want to share more. i need to explain myself. I, you, me, dont act like you know know what's going on.  #egoismydepression #illusion

Love At My Door

Magician inside
Love thus arrived
Yet demon inside
Fucking run and hide

But it hurts so much
Surrender I cry
Allow the demon
thank you, reside

I see you Demon
I love you too
No blame is reason
Shine bright, shine truth

Hoping you,
would join me too
jk, your place in we
understandably in your own time as you please

Mahalo, We
Appreciating our deeds
Understanding tall
Love from my team <3
Evolution for all <3
Always get what we need

This Year So Far

WOOOOoooooo!
is the energy of relief as i say
that i'm so glad i made it to ---> today

Embraced with gratitude and surrender
the shadows and tribulations
I'm so glad to be feeling a bit more at home
welcome home, my dear friend Leo-nation ;)

MAHALO is what else i need to say
to dear kindred spirits
helping me along the way
^_^ mmm thank you so much
for your level of play

Pats of congratulations and EFT away
because this is only the beginning
despair no more, i've learned
keep my own wheel spinning

Confident in my position
Dreams come true
surrender allows the mission fruition
woop woop, gimmie all you got, woop woop! i say! ;)
In prayer, humility, respect, I ask for your light
protection, guidance, love warriors we fight <3

The Game

Magick is forreal
Looking back at my ordeal
How beautiful keepin it real
Planets in the sky, deal the deal

Soul knows where it wants to go
Holy Schmoly humanism so complicated yo
Pray to God please take away my ego
Praise, now no longer needed, ya know? ;)

Grateful for the game we play
Grateful for it everyday
Grateful for my team
Grateful i live my dream

Brown Recluse

Recluse
boost juice in reverence
gratitude thank you

choose to not move
Is death to my voice
grab my mic
creation my choice

Choose to not move
is death bye creativity
Get up and go flow
My fate lives within me

holy shit is right
better move or i'll bite
warning sign turn on your light
you're weapon, hella might

Inspiration from: The Brown Recluse Spider reminds me not to kill my own creativity through inactivity. 

We Are Earthlings

Let's see.....

A wise friend once told me "The only way we can come together is if aliens attacked"

LOL that's one way of looking at it. 

We are Earthlings <3 

and.... with that said... i love you :)

Our Body Has Feelings Too

I just got out of Bikram with a friend today and I wanted to share an epiphany I had.

You know how when we do restorative workouts such as yoga, or even cardio, etc? Something to get the body healthier? There's usually a "no pain no gain" mentality..?. (not that i ever work out with no pain no gain mentality, that's just crazy balls when you don't listen to your body)

During yoga today I was really present with my bodily discomforts.  I stayed silent through them and gently worked with the pain. In the present moment of being aware of my body, I felt all the pain my body was going through and then it hit me.

We all know that junk food, smoke, alcohol is bad for us.  It wasn't til tonight that I realized the pain I was feeling was the same pain my body feels when I mistreat it.   Because we need to reverse the effects, right? I felt what it was like to be in my body's shoes so to speak. I felt compassion for my body. I felt sorry.  All those times I put junk in my body, smoked, or drank alcohol, my body was in pain but it STILL works so damn hard for me every moment.

anyways chatting with my dear friend I wanted to share.....
With my background I know the body can heal itself. I know the body is ALWAYS doing its best to keep us in good condition. To keep us functioning, it will store away toxins for us until it can't handle it anymore.  This is why when we're young, we can eat or drink whatever we want.  Because the body's more effective at removing waste. Or because the body has more space to store toxins.  However, when the body can't handle it anymore, that's when we gets sick! Say with a high fever, cough, mucous hagging, diarrhea, the body is working hard to get the toxins out! ( so hag that shit out and you try to avoid any suppressants) And if it's realllly struggling and is having trouble eliminating toxins, it turns into something big like cancer or disease.

So,
Dear body and temple of mine. I apologize for the pain you feel when I don't treat you right.  Thank you for taking care of me always.  May I listen to you more and more.  Thank you for serving me.  May I serve you back because we are a team!

Lastly,
And another dear friend reminded me "All things in moderation including moderation" But for somebody like me, I am aware of how at times I could use that as an excuse to mistreat myself.  So "All things in moderation with awareness"